“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
Gandhi
It is only the beginning of 2013 and it seems that so many things we thought we needed in 2012 have already fallen away. Is this the big change everyone was talking about? And why is it that time is speeding up for everyone? It is almost as if time is dissolving right before our very eyes. Everyone I meet is on a healing journey. These people may be on different legs of that journey, but one thing keeps coming up for all of them: forgiveness. I believe that 2013 is all about forgiveness. We know now more than ever that we need to be free of the past to be able to fully accept the glorious future that is coming to us all and forgiveness opens up the door and clears out all the junk that's holding us back. It was when I started thinking about the difficulties of forgiveness in my own life that I stumbled (not coincidentally of course) on Ho'oponopono. This is an ancient Hawaiian practice of forgiveness meditation that helps to heal anger and guilt between people. With Ho'oponopono practice, you agree that your present reality is all your own doing. Yes, wherever you are, you are the one who drove you there. The great thing about trying this meditation is that the letting go of anger and blame happens very quickly. (There's that time thing again.) Almost instantly, really. But that doesn't mean it's easy. The first time I tried it, I stopped in the middle. I actually said "NO!" and refused to continue. But after a few minutes I went back, tried again, and my life has never been the same. I had searched for some guided Ho'oponopono meditation videos online, but in the end, I decided to make my own with some music by Zak Godwin. The music is authentic and feels more like something I would listen to daily. The words are taken from my study and understanding of Ho'oponopono. Feel free to try it for yourself. With Much Love and Respect, here is the Guided Ho'oponopono Video I made:
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
Mahatma Gandhi
Ho'opnonpono is the Hawaiian practice of forgiveness. And it ain't easy.
Since holding on to anger can make us sick, forgiveness is really something we do for ourselves - for our minds, our bodies, and our spirits. Ho'opnonpono is a meditation practice that takes a few minutes and really can help. But let me warn you - the first time I did it, I had no idea exactly what would be asked of me, and it felt wrong, very wrong - at least at first. Eventually I came to realize the good it was doing for me - but my first instinct was to fight it.
For instance, there is a point in the process in which you (yes you) will be saying you are sorry and you will be asking for forgiveness. This will feel WRONG! It should be the other guy apologizing - right? Ho'opnonpono requires you to ask yourself, "What is in me that is causing the event to take place, this person to act this way, this sickness to manifest?" And that is something that is very hard to think about.
You see, blaming others is a sure way to make the problem stay - or to keep coming back (in the form of other people in your life, or other diseases.) There's a letting go in this process that feels oh so foreign and yes, downright scary.
If you have wanted to forgive someone, but just nothing else has worked up to this point, try these videos. It takes a very strong person to forgive, but know that ultimately you are doing this for yourself.
"Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Lama Marut
The lesson of forgiveness is one of the hardest lessons I've needed to learn in my life. Like most people, I thought that it was important to keep in mind the wrongs that others had done to me. (It just seemed like the responsible thing to do.) I never forgot who was an asshole. But guess what? The real asshole was me.
Yes! I was being a total asshole to myself. Those other people didn't remember those wrongs - I did. They didn't walk around with the burden of hurting my feelings. No - I did that to myself. I burdened myself with memories of negative times and people. And holding on to all that was not doing me any good.
But when I let go - and I mean REALLY let go - great things happened. I started living the life I was supposed to live - not a life filled with bad memories. And I started breathing better. Really.
If you are burdened by not forgiving someone, here is a little way to start healing yourself:
(DO this now!)
1. Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose and then slowly out through your mouth.
2. Let go. Let your mind go, let your muscles go, let your jaw go.
3. Smile.
4. Repeat as necessary.
It really is that simple.
How long has it been since you've taken a slow, deep breath like that? If it's been a while, then try to do this at least 10 times a day. One way to remind yourself is EVERY time you see the color yellow, do these steps.
And remember - forgiving someone else is really just loving yourself!
Here is a video from Marianne Williamson that helps explain the personal power of forgiveness.
